meladoodle:

constantly looking forward to my next meal

cyberlocc:

but do aliens believe in me….

shrikestrike:

Male protagonist that is dark and brooding?

Nah, dark and broody. His charcoal hair shifts down over his face as he opens his black leather jacket to peer inside at the clutch he’s incubating. Five perfect cream-colored eggs with light flecks of grey rest against his soft cotton shirt. He zips the jacket back up and protectively touches his hand to the bulge. Shouldn’t be long now.

vuelie:

wearing a blanket around the house like

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yoncehaunted:

PLEASE

honoronher:

THIS IS MY FAVORITE VINE OF ALL TIME

theheatofthesouth:

theheatofthesouth:

1. First cut up some strawberries and soak em in vodka for as long as you can bear to wait (if you do it overnight it’s even better)
2. Then add some lemonade.
3. Stir and serve with mint.
4. Be drunk.

Y’all I was not ready for this

mightyflower:

to quote hamlet act III scene iii line 92, “no”

aye-trashley:

out of all the words they could graffiti this is what they chose

overlysassybitch:

tundrasretreat:

Great Dane is Stuck in the Tub

AOSJDAOSJD BABY

Ok, it’s so big I didn’t realise it was a bathtub until I read it.

humorous:

britishprostitute:

britishprostitute:

i love riding d*cks

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